Do I need some help, huh?
Do I need some help, huh?
Do I need some help, huh?
Yeah!
"Morality"
[Date Stamp: Part One: February 2, 2000; Part Two: February 25,
2000]
Part One
Today, somebody said,
The night feels so cold and dead
Today, somebody did,
What somebody,
Wasn't supposed to do
Today, somebody said,
In my heart, all I feel is dread
Today, somebody did,
What somebody,
Wasn't supposed to do
And I feel this
Like a cold, bloody razor slitting through my wrist
Yes, I feel this
Today, somebody said,
What somebody shouldn't have said
Today, somebody did,
What somebody shouldn't have done
And I feel this
Like a cold, bloody razor slitting through my wrist
Yes, I feel this
Like a cold, bloody razor slitting through my wrist
And I feel this
Like a cold, bloody razor slicing through my wrist
Yes, I feel this
Part Two
And my actions are never right
Even when I'm sure they
are
I'm just trying to live
my life
As a morally good guy
Our souls' morality's gone cold
(Do you want to know where you can shove your ethical code?)
"My Friend, Restraint"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1996).]
[The following lyrics may contain objectionable
language content.]
You're all getting on my nerves
With your partying,
drinking, fucking, singing, banging
Throwing up on our
bathroom floor
On our bathroom floor
So, what makes you think you're alone in here?
Hey man, you're lucky I
have a friend named Restraint
He holds me back from doing really stupid fucking things
My friend, Restraint
Hey man, you're pissing me off, you're lucky I have
A friend, Restraint
You're pissing me off, you're lucky I have
A friend, Restraint
"Obscurity"
[Date Stamp: April 24, 1999]
Obscurity
Life in peace
So you've fallen into waste
The inertia has taken
Don't want to see their
faces
Misanthropy in practice
So you've dreamed of all
the fame
Who needs real existence
Don't want to face the
days
With all the staring gazes
So you walk alone,
happily unconnected
Disconnect it
DISCONNECT IT
It's easy to hide in shadows
It's easy to FADE AWAY
It's easy to say good bye
It's easy to die
Stare, stare, stare,
Stare out the window at the life you wouldn't dare
(Wouldn't dare live)
You stare, stare, stare,
Stare out the window at the life you wouldn't dare... live
You'd rather live in obscurity
And exist within your
dreams
"The Other"
[Date Stamp: May, 2000.]
Lightning flashes in your eyes
Thunder crashes in my
mind
One only follows the
other
We are lesser without
each other
Now we sit apart and stare
Into each other's eyes
Sunlight gleams within your eyes
Sunrise wakes my resting
mind
One only follows the
other
We are lesser without
each other
Life has never been better
Loving each other's eyes
We are lesser without each other
Love has never felt better
Living each other's eyes
"Passion"
[Date Stamp: March 4, 2003.]
Hate is a shame
A shameful indulgence of our lowest conscience
With whispered blame
Hate is a shame
A shameful inception of angered temptation
With intent to main
Everyone hates someone
Hate... is a waste of time
Is a waste of time, hate's a waste of time
A waste of our time
And the daughter hates the father
And the father hates the son
And the sun hates everyone
Everyone hates someone
Hate... is a waste of time
Is a waste of time, hate's a waste of life
A waste of our precious time
Here we go and waste our time
Hates a waste of time, hate's a waste of life
A waste of our precious time
Hate!
Hate is a shame!
Hate is a shame!
Hate is a
Shame!
Hate is a shame!
Hate is a shame!
Hate is a shame...
"Perpetually Single V02"
[Date Stamp: December 20, 2002 and July 12, 2001.]
Unending, it's been twenty-five years of descending
Perpetually impending
I can't believe another year has flown by
Another year, another year
I can't be another year away
Upsetting, it's been twenty-five years of resetting
Perpetually regretting
I can't believe another year has flown by
Another year, another year
I can't be another year away
I can't wait another year
I need someone to be near
It seems so unfair
With so much life out there
So much life to share
That there's no one near
There's never been anyone near
I can't believe there's no one near, pushing high
No need to fear another year
I can't keep pushing life away
"Pillow Land"
[Date Stamp: August 30, 2000.]
I'm drifting, in and out of
Consciousness
I'm slipping, in and out
of
Wakefulness
Peace in my pillow land
He'll take me by my hand
Then set me free to run through his sand
Meet the Sandman
I'm jumping, in and out of
Restfulness
I'm falling, in and out
of
Peacefulness
War in my pillow land
He'll pull me by my hand
Then lead me to my dream's end
Meet the Sandman
"Residual Earth"
[Date Stamp: October 9, 2002.]
You and I could fly away from here
You and I could fly
You make me fly!
But I always get dragged back down
Dragging my feet on the ground
Because I have no way to say good-bye to my own
I am held back by the ones that I've known
But I, but I want to pierce the ozone
While time is postponed
"RHBs"
[Date Stamp: April 11, 2001.]
How can you call yourself
A rational human being
If you're so damn
gullible
And never doubting?
How can you call yourself
A rational human being
If you're
never questioning
And always believing?
Rational?
You're not rational
It's irrational
To think you're rational
How can you call yourself
A rational human being
If you don't ever see
that
Nearly everyone is lying?
How can you call yourself
A rational human being
If you're always
listening
But yet not ever thinking
Hey, can you join us here?
One of us rational human beings
Hey, can you please grow
As a rational human being?
Hey, nothing is more annoying
Than an irrational human being
Hey, please don't impede me
With your irrational human feelings
How can you call yourself
A rational human being
If you take life as it's
received
And you're never
creating?
How can you call yourself
A rational human being
If you're never
questioning
And always believing?
"The Rift"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1997).]
Hey there, stranger, how long's it been?
Far, far too long for two
old best friends
So, you still holding
that grudge? That's not good to hear
What's the problem? It's
been three goddamn years
And it's wrong to say
that it was all my fault
It wasn't all my fault
Forgive & forget, two little words that are hard to say & do
I've harbored regret for years, I'm sorry what I said to you
One little lie that wouldn't go away & just grew & grew
It destroyed our bond and drove a wedge between us two
But we must stand together
Oh, no
I won't let you run away
I won't let you run away again
But I know you can no longer trust me
And a friendship without
trust is nothing
"The Stars Alight"
[Date Stamp: August 2, 2001.]
Spend the night under the stars
Bundled up tight
With a flashlight by your
side
Beneath the stars alight
Everything's all right
The twinkle in the sky
It's a reason to be alive
Everything is so beautiful
So beautiful
The night reveals...
Spend the night under the stars
Bundled up tight
With a paperback by your
side
Beneath the stars alight
In the darkest night
The lifeline in the sky
The heart ascends in
twilight
Everything is so beautiful
So beautiful
The night reveals
The brightness of your light inside
Let your light shine
Witness the warming
Of a light inside
"Surely"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1996).]
[Music authored by Husain Naqvi.]
So, it's surely... the wait... all we have
No, I can't wait
So, I must believe...
it's come... coming
So, surely I wait
Surely I wait!
(Chorus)
Everything will surely come
And I will surely wait
Cause there is nothing to do around here
There's nothing to do here
So, I fall asleep... and wait... all I can do
Oh, I hate it all
So, I await...
revelation... sympathy
No, surely I wait
Surely I wait!
(Chorus)
I'm waiting for everything to happen
I'm waiting for everything to come to me
So, I grow restless... can't sleep... I know it's
Coming, to save me
So, I can't dream... I
awake... and see nothing
So, surely I wait
Surely I wait!
(Chorus)
"Talking to Trees"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1994).]
In amongst his friends, the trees ascending
Talking while he tends
helps him with mending
Fixing everything
problems; it's all depending
Gladly he smiles at them;
dreams keep sending
What a beautiful day; let his dreams fly away
What a beautiful tree; let his dreams fly free
What a beautiful place, to meet face to face
Talking to the trees, they know, they see
They see all, see it all
Enjoying the warmth; the trees are friendly
Share their wealth; their
love is kindly
Enjoy their company; full
of talk they be
Loves his friends, trees;
they know, they see
Oh, "I was lost"
Oh, "'Til the trees found
me"
In amongst his friends, on a beautiful day
Talking while he tends;
his dreams fly away
Enjoy their company,
these beautiful trees
Loves his friends trees;
his dreams fly free
"Tide"
[Date Stamp: February 23, 2001.]
[Music authored by Husain Naqvi.]
It's not my fault
The way this is turning
out
I didn't do a thing
Don't shoot the
messenger; kill the king
Can't be my fault
Didn't order the coming
assault
I wouldn't do such a
thing
Don't shoot the
messenger; kill the king
And I felt the coming rain in the air, in the air
And I swore the sun would never rise again, never rise again
It's not my fault
The way his justice is
dealt
I can't control a thing
Don't shoot the
messenger; kill the king
And I felt the coming rain in the air, in the air
And I swore the sun would never rise again, never rise again
And I felt the coming rain on my skin, in the air
And I knew the sun would never rise again, never rise again
And I felt the coming rain in my head, on my skin
And I knew the sun would never rise again, never rise again
And I saw the tide turning in the sea, in the sea
And I knew that life wouldn't be the same again
Never the same again
Time Again
[Date Stamp: January 23, 2000]
Time again
And time again
Time is sweeter...
Time is sweeter when
taken with a cup of poison
And I'm leaving 'cause
I'm sick & tired of losing sleep
When nothing's ever,
nothing's ever, ever really working
And nothing's ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever simple
Nothing's simple...
(Chorus)
Time again
And time again
Time & time again I think I've won but I never win
Time & time again I think I'm done but it's just beginning
Time is shorter...
Time is shorter when left
to its own devices
And I wish I could just
sleep my life away
'Cause time's never,
ever, ever, ever really helping
And nothing's ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever simple
Nothing's simple...
(Chorus)
Time is safer...
Time is safer when no one
seeks her challenge
And I'm giving up 'cause
nothing is worth this shame
When no one's ever, no
one's ever, ever, really winning
And nothing's ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever simple
Nothing's simple...
(Chorus)
"Walk"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1995).]
beautiful afternoon, snow melting autumn day, took a walk,
cause
i had no car to drive, to the library and the mall, half an hour
pretty long, pretty far
took a walk, took a long walk
left my worries in my room
left my homework in my room
left my weight in my room
peaceful scenery, walked by slowly, took it in, stepped in puddles,
watered snow, took a lonely walk,
oh i'm alone, far, far from home,
on my own,
on my own
people stared at me as they drove by, thought it's funny to see
someone walking these days, but i
had no car, i had no car,
i took a walk, a long walk downtown,
left my life in my room
beautiful afternoon
"Wasting"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1996).]
A radiant rainbow
Over the sentient sunrise
And you're lying inside
With the covers over your
eyes
What a waste!
Don't waste another day
Can't stand another waste
Another wasted day
An ambient amber sun
And a gentle whispering
breeze
And you're sleeping
inside
With the sheets pulled
overhead
What a waste!
Don't waste another day
Can't stand another waste
Another wasted day
Can't stand to see you waste
Don't want to see you waste
Another dandy day
An incredible indigo sky
Then the first star of
the night
And you're still sleeping
inside
With the covers over your
eyes
What a waste!
"Wasting Time Again"
[Date Stamp: August 4, 2000.]
I'm just wasting time again
Nothing better to do
But sit and complain...
hey hey
So I waste away
Time's short, but it's not short enough for me
So I waste again
Life's short, but it sure seems long lately
Long lately
I'm just wasting time again
And I get paid for this
But still I complain...
hey hey
Wasting... wasting time again
All I do is waste... waste time again
I'm just wasting time again
My life is oh, so, sad
Watch me complain... hey
hey
Time is slow if you can't sleep through
Sometimes night can be the end all of the end all
Oh, the end all
"The Whispering"
[Date Stamp: August, 1997 through October, 1997]
[The following lyrics may contain objectionable
language content.]
Awakening
Late at night I hear the whispering
It steals my breath from
me
In a cold sweat, staring
at the ceiling
I'm so afraid, I can't
breathe
The Rock
No, it's not fair!
But what the Hell could I
have done?
I watch my dad, amazed at
his strength
He lost his wife, his
best friend in life
And I should be the rock
I should be the strong
one
I will be the strong one!
But I'm just not strong
enough
It's not easy to run away when you have no legs to stand on
It's not easy to face the day when your world has collapsed down
It's not easy to keep the faith when you have no strength to hold on
It's not easy to face the day when you have no reason to awake
Loss of Myself
There's a lot of pain in the loss of myself to the hate
How many times did I wish
for the hurt to just go away?
Nothing ever stays the
same, everything is always changing
I've lost everything
And I know, yeah, I know
That I am so imcomplete now--hey, hey hey
I am so imcomplete now!
Just when everything was going right, for a change
Now everything has gone
wrong, wrong, wrong
Monday
Sure I'd like to blame Him, say it's all His fucking fault!
And it would be nice to
know that my mom's in a better place
But I can't believe in
Him
I won't believe in Him!
As appealing as it may be
I won't... sacrifice... my beliefs for anything
Sure I'd like to blame Him, say fuck God and fuck you all!
And it would be
reassuring to know that one day we'll be reunited
But I can't believe in
Him
I won't believe in Him!
What has He done for me?
I won't... sacrifice... my beliefs for anything
October 12
Cold October 12, middle of the afternoon
The rain pouring down,
the tears pouring out
Spread her ashes upon the
wind
She's finally returned
home
Cold October 12, middle of the "W"
We all say goodbye
Goodbye
We'll miss you
Goodbye
We'll miss you so much
Goodbye.
"White Arrow on a Black
Background"
[Date Stamp: March 2, 2001.]
Head on towards the horizon
One way to salvation
All that belongs in the
heart can be received
Running from discussion
One day from gone
All that speaks from the
heart rings free
And there's no turning back now
Ride on beyond the horizon
One way absolution
All that belongs in the
heart will be conceived
Fleeing from repression
One day from gone
All that speaks from the
heart rings free
And there's no turning back now
There's no turning back now
All that's faced in life
Displaced grains of strife
The decision's been made
Light to dark... fade
There's no turning back now
Reach the farthest horizon
One way restriction
All that belongs in the
heart can be retrieved
The edge of civilization
One day will be gone
All that speaks from the
heart rings free
And there's no turning back now
"Wind and the River"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1994).]
[Music authored by Husain Naqvi]
(Chorus)
As I sail along, I lose my way
Put my faith in Wind and the River
The Wind tips me over
And the River drags me under
A trusting man... with a trusted guide... betrayed... as always
A faithful one... with an
unfaithful friend... mislayed... as always
(Chorus)
A questing seeker
Looking for his way home
All alone... no one to
phone
No way home... no where
to run
A loyal fool... with his disloyal mate... mislead... and now he's dead
(Chorus)
A long lost man... with no faith to hold... far gone... downstream
"Winter Memories"
[Date Stamp: October 10, 2001.]
With winter comes the last request
To fellowship and heart
confessed
Lest we forget
All the words
And all the sundering
All the hurt
And all the thundering
Who will mend the tear I'm feeling?
When winter comes, the heart's bequest
To heal the wounds and
attempt the test
Lest we forget
All the words
And all the sundering
All the hurt
And all the thundering
Who will mend the tear I'm feeling?
Remembering the ghosts defeating...
Lest we forget
"Worlds Collide"
[Date Stamp: April 24, 1999]
When worlds collide, they blow each other away
What's inside... is
trying to escape
(Chorus)
But don't you know, don't you know
It's so damn, it's so damn...
Don't you know, DON'T YOU KNOW
IT'S SO DAMN
COLD OUT THERE IN THE WORLD
Yeah, I walk away from here
Therefore disappear
Celebrate the past
And wish for once that time would last
When worlds collide, it's armageddon time
What's inside... will
leave the sun behind
(Chorus)
Hey I, hey I, hey I,
Can I, can I, can I,
Leave here peacefully?
As I step outside, the sun refuses to stay
Step back inside; it's
safer that way
Cause don't you know...
(Chorus)
"Z"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1995).]
I haven't sat in peace for oh so long
Destroy the mask I wear
so strong
I can't face their
pitying gaze
Stare down at my plate
The noise engulfs me in my bed
Sitting alone inside my
head
I haven't rest in oh so
long
Destroy my mask I wear so
strong
Oh, I'm not so strong
I'm just too goddamn shy
Now I'm going to try
I'm too goddamn shy
I just want to say hi
But I walk right on by
I'm too goddamn shy
Stare, stare into the reflecting pool of my soul
Stare, stare into the
reflecting pool of my life
No reflection--who am I?
Cleanse myself, drowned
in the sink
An entrance in the
mind of the world who walks alone
I'm just too goddamn shy
Now I'm going to try
I'm too goddamn shy
I just want to say hi
But I walk right on by
I'm too goddamn shy
Facing the pain, can't get it out
It's all in my head
You're all in my head
And I'm only as smart as I make
I'm only as strong as I make
I'm only as good looking
As I make myself out to be
