words: various (1994 - 2002)

"4:47PM"
[Date Stamp: February 7, 2001.]

          It's about damn time
          I'm out of here now
          The day's just begun
          When work lets me out

                    Now I'm going home
                    My life waits at home

          Been wasting my time
          For two long hours now
          The work day's now done
          Restrain the urge to shout

                    Finally going home
                    My life waits at home

                    It's 4:47, it's 4:47, and I don't do overtime
                    I refuse, I refuse, to let work be my life

          My day starts at 4:47PM

"Ain't Broke; Don't Fix"
[Date Stamp: November 22, 2000.]

          Where did it go when I let it be?
          It's a long way home
          And I feel just like I've seen it all
          It's a long way home

          Where do we go when we let it be?
          It's a long way home
          And I wish I knew the truth behind it all
          It's a long way home

                    Every good day
                    I want you to believe in me
                    Every good home
                    Is alone; no one wants to be alone

          Where did you go when I let you be?
          It's a long way home
          And I feel like I've been cracked by it all
          It's a long way home

                    Every good day
                    I don't need you to fix me
                    Every good home
                    Has a few cracks in its stone
                    Every good day
                    I want you to believe in me
                    Every good home
                    Is alone; no one wants to be alone

          Will you send me on my way?
          Will you accept me as I am?
          A cracked and broken little man...

"Bridge Building"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1996).]

          Wander off and sing to myself
          It's a wonderful feeling to create
          Building friendships by destroying myself
          Becoming someone else
          Wander off and dream longingly
          Of the ideals that once led me
          On my way across

                    Nothing changes without a lie
                    Can't build bridges if I don't try
                    All their faces fade behind, goodbye
                    They all wish me well, on my way across

          As the seasons crumble to dust
          I remember the way I once was
          Wander on a pathway home
          Build my life up from the earth
          Wander on a trail through the trees
          Singing with the woodsfolk that guide me
          On my way across

                    And the answers are never right
                    Even when I'm sure they are
                    I'm still learning how to live my life

                    On my way across
                    I'm on my way across
                    I'm still building me
                    I put on my solemn face
                    And quietly build the day
 

"Campus Crusade for Christ"
[Date Stamp: October 28, 1998.]
[These lyrics should be prefaced with a warning of possibly offensive content.  The purpose of this song is not to offend those religious folks out there, but to comment on two of my least favorite things: religious intolerance and religious campaigning.  Although I completely respect the end goal of most religions--ie. good moral people (and, in fact, despite my lack of belief, I am a good Christian in most ways)--I don't agree with the use of supernatural reward & punishment to enforce those goals.]

          This is my last stand
          I am who I am
                    You cannot change me
                    It's not your right to judge me

          I can't believe your audacity
          Knock on my door to tell me
                    He will save me
          You see, I don't believe in your Heaven or Hell
          Is your God good or evil? Sometimes I just can't tell

          This is my last stand
          I am who I am
                    You cannot change me
                    It's not your place to judge me

          It's pretty simple, actually
          The Bible is a work of fantasy
                    And it makes no sense to me
          You see, I don't believe the stories about your Jesus
          If you think about it, it's pretty damn ridiculous

          This is my last stand
          I am who I am
                    You cannot change me
                    You have no right to judge me
                              I've always been this way

          So stop saying I'm boarding a speeding Chariot to Hell
          If Heaven's for jerks like you, I guess it's just as well

          This is my last stand
          I am who I am
                    You cannot change me
                    You have no right to judge me
                              I've always been this way

"CHEM 111.3"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1995).]

          What'd he just say, should I copy that down?
          What'd he just say, should I copy that down?
          Is there a point to this, should I copy it down?
          What's the point of this, should I copy that down?

                    Why am I taking this?!
                    Why, why am I wasting my time?!
                    This is so goddamn boring!
                    My hand feels numb from writing!

                    Numb!
                    I am!

"Conformation"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1994).]

          Confirmation of the fashion
          The style of the day
          Make sure you try it on
          Before it fades away

          You must wear the world's choice
          Everyone's the same
          Just bear it, mute your voice
          Play along with the game

          Conform to our beliefs
          Confirm our beliefs

                    So you like it?
                    I like it, too
                    Yes, I honestly do...

          The "In"s quickly become "Out"s
          New style every day
          Buy it fast because without doubt
          It'll soon fade away

          The world knows what we should like
          And of course they are right

          Conform your beliefs
          Confirm your beliefs

                    So you like it?
                    I like it, too
                    Yes, I honestly do...

                    It's not our choice
                    I don't have a choice
                    Don't have the courage to fight
                    Fight what it supposedly right
                    Wear it like they do, the only way
                    Tuck it in, match the colours, do as they say
                    The only way... OK?

"Decoding Dreams"
[Date Stamp: March 7, 2001.]

          There
          See the twilight
          Drifting on a cloud of right
          Dream
          Of the big fight
          Swimming in a sea of plight

                    What does it all mean?
                    (All that I've seen)
                    Can I decode my dreams?
                    What does it all mean?
                    (All that I've seen)
                    I'm decoding my dreams

          There
          See the sunrise
          Hiding beneath a red disguise
          Dream
          Of the good guys
          Digging through a crowd of lies

                    The dream is alive
                    Does it make you want to be alive?

          There
          See the sundown
          Whispering of a lost ghost town
          Dream
          Of the last clown
          Entertaining the mass frown

"Documenting a Tragic Dependency"
[Date Stamp: June 15, 2001.]

          Eight dissenters
          And a raging incentive
          To repent
          And be disposed of
          You can't believe a word they say
          When it's over the media and
          Spinning

                    Do as you have been told
                    Do as you
                    Do

          Eight contenders
          Amidst a flaming inferno
          To depend
          And be disposed of
          You can't understand the words they say
          When it's under the shield and
          Fading

                    Do as you have been told
                    Do as you
                    Do

                    Hate!
                    Hate is a shame x3

"Drive"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1995).]
[The following lyrics may have objectionable language content.]

          What the hell is with all these people?
          Do they all think they are invincible?
          When it's all wrong, they aren't responsible
          Do they think their actions are invisible?

          When did things become like this?
          Why did things become like this?
          I have to think, I have to know
          I have to let go, I have to let go

                    (Chorus)
                    Got so much upon my mind
                    I drive & drive & drive & drive
                    To get the weight off of my mind
                    To leave the drunken fools behind
                    To let my feelings unwind

          What the hell is with this fucking world?
          All these fools with dreams unfurled
          They tried, they tried, they try, they failed
          Descend into drink, feels good to be nailed

          Why is everything so poorly done?
          Why is everything so poorly run?
          I have to think, I have to know
          I have to discover, I have to let go of the wheel

                    (Chorus)

                    How I wish you could see me now
                    As I drive so free
                    Hey, I wish you could see me now
                    As I drive so free
                    Set my mind on cruise
                    Set my mind free

          What the fuck is with all these people?

                    They scare me, they really fucking scare me
                    Do they have any responsibility?
                    Will they continue to drive right over me?
                    I can't drive away
                    I can't be free

                    (Chorus)

"Hey..."
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1997).]
[Music co-authored by Husain Naqvi]

          Don't be insulted if I don't listen to you
          Don't be concerned if I look away
          See, I don't really care about your problems
          I have my own damn problems today

                 (Chorus)

                 Hey!
                 Everything is, everything is okay
                 What the hell did you, what the hell did you say, hey, hey?

                 I'm not myself today

          Don't be offended if I don't pay attention
          Don't be concerned if I walk away
          See, I don't really have answers for your questions
          I need some answers myself, okay?

                 (Chorus)

          Don't be angry if I don't seem to care
          I just have a lot on my mind, okay?
          See, I don't really want to hear your problems
          I'm sorry, but it's been a bad day!

                 (Chorus)

"Huh? What?"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1997).]

          Inside, I am who I am
          We are all who we are
          And I know this means so much more
          In my heart

          Outside, I lie about who I am
          No one seems as they are
          And I know it all means so much more
          In our hearts

                    The heart knows who I am
                    What I feel
                    But my mouth must be isolated
                    Too far separated
                    It's doesn't know what I feel
                    I didn't mean what I said, honest

                    That wasn't what I meant
                    That was not what I meant
                    Everything that I said
                    Was misinterpreted

"I Know Knowledge"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1995).]

          And I know that is all I know
          Knowledge burned into soul
          And it comes wherever I go
          Leave me alone with my thoughts untold
          And I know I don't know nothing at all

                    Why do I have to know more?
                    Why do I have to know at all?
                    Why do I have to know everything?
                    When will knowledge ever help me live
                    If I forget it all in a year, or less?

          And I know that is all I know
          Knowledge burned into soul
          There's so much I once knew
          Forgotten knowledge, lost for good
          And I know I don't know much

          And I know that is all I know
          Knowledge burned into soul
          And I wish I could let it go
          But it comes wherever I go
          And I don't know shit all

                    Why do I have to learn more?
                    Why do I have to learn at all?

                    I don't need to know more
                    I don't want to know more
                    Why do I have to know more?
                    Why do I have to know at all?

"In Whom Can I Trust?"
[Date Stamp: January 31, 2001.]

          Impeded, not abetted
          Everyone is holding me back
          When they claim they're helping me out
          Obstructed, not assisted
          Everyone is blocking progress
          When they claim they're my best friend

                    Can I trust anyone?
                    No, I cannot trust anyone

          Defeated, not triumphant
          Everyone is forcing a loss
          When they claim they're the winning team

                    Can I trust anyone?
                    No, I cannot trust anyone

          It's not paranoia
          You can trust me on that
          Or can your really?
          No, you actually can't

                    Do not trust anyone

                    I'm uneasy, trust is missing
                    I've got issues with your pushing
                    What the hell are you trying to do?
                    Deceitfulness is no virtue

                    After this, there is no trusting
                    Whispers of doubt in all you're saying
                    What the hell did you hope to prove?
                    Treachery is not a virtue

          It's not paranoia
          Trust me, I'd know
          But then again, you
          Shouldn't trust me at all

                    Do not trust anyone
                    I cannot trust anyone

"Into the Woods"
[Date Stamp: February 15, 2001.]

          It's all quite sincere
          The way it's done without reprieve
          No procedure to fear
          Given the freedom of belief
          Our enemies are clear
          When we're amongst the trees

                    It's me against you all
                    Lately
                    It's me against you all

                    We're religion free--within the woods
                    We've integrity--within the woods
                    We've equality--within the woods
                    Wouldn't you like to be--within the woods?

          All freedom is near
          Abandon life; prepare to leave
          The world's ready to hear
          Satisfaction retained beneath
          The lives of your tear
          Are dead amongst the trees

                    It's me against you all
                    Lately
                    It's me against you all

                    New society--within the woods
                    Loose all history--within the woods
                    It's true ecstasy--within the woods
                    Will you come live with me--within the woods?

          It's all quite sincere
          Given the freedom of belief
          The lives of your tear
          Are dead amongst the trees

                    It's them against us all
                    Always
                    It's them against us all

                    We're religion free--within the woods
                    New society--within the woods
                    We've integrity--within the woods
                    Loose all history--within the woods
                    We've equality--within the woods
                    It's true ecstasy--within the woods
                    Wouldn't you like to be--within the woods?
                    Will you come live with me?
                    Will you come live with me?
                    Within the woods

"It's Simple"
[Date Stamp: Unavailable (Approx. 1999).]
[Music authored by Husain Naqvi.]

          I don't want to be molded
          Into your image
          I have my own vision
          Of my person

                    I'm not like you
                    It's just that simple, oh, oh, yeah
                    I'm not you
                    It's just that...

                    (Chorus)
                    It's just that simple! (It's just that simple)

          I don't want to be restricted
          By my youthfulness
          Maturity shouldn't be
          Measured by wrinkles

                    I'm not like them
                    It's just that simple, oh, oh, yeah
                    I'm not them
                    It's just that...

                    (Chorus)

          I don't want to be limited
          By your intolerance
          I don't want to be categorized
          By your ignorance

                    I'm not like anyone
                    It's just that simple, oh, oh, yeah
                    I am me
                    It's just that...

                    (Chorus)

"The Listener"
[Date Stamp: April 4, 2000]

          We are nothing w/o friends
          We need hands & hearts to hold
          My hand is always here for you
          And there's no reason to fight alone

                    (Chorus)
                    Where can you go... when you feel... so low?
                    Who can you call... when you feel... so low?

          I want to be a part of your life
          I want to be a part of your soul
          I want to be the listener
          I want you to give me a call

                    (Chorus)

"M'aidez!"
[Date Stamp: May 2, 2001.]

          Somehow I've made it
          Somehow I've pushed through
          Although I'm jaded
          Somehow I'm coming to
                    The end of my first year

          Somehow I've done it
          Somehow I've slipped through
          Although pessimistic
          Somehow I'm coming to
                    The end of my first year
                    How long will I be here?

                    How many more days of emptiness can I take?
                    With this annoying voice in my head I can't shake

                    Do I need some help, huh?
                    Do I need some help, huh?
                    Do I need some help, huh?
                    Help!

          Somehow I'm still here
          At the end of my first year

                    How many more days of emptiness can I take?
                    With this annoying voice in my head I can't shake

                    Do I need some help, huh?
                    Do I need some help, huh?
                    Do I need some help, huh?
                    Yeah!