"Inhibited Exhibit"
[Date Stamp: August 12, 2002.]
I can feel it in the look; you focus in on the flaw
I can see your mind reel, and I must withdraw
To be myself again would feel quite grand
But I have been stricken by my foolish hand
Suffocating underneath the glass
Everyone is staring at me
Everyone knows what I'm thinking
Excruciating... will you please bypass?
Stop your prying eyes; I shift to disguise the flaw
I know you follow the line, and I must withdraw
To dance again would feel quite fine
But I have been bound by subconscious twine
Suffocating underneath the glass
Everyone is staring at me
Everyone knows what I'm thinking
Excruciating... will you please bypass?
I swear everyone is staring at me
Oh yeah, everyone knows what I'm thinking
Out there
Decline my view to escape the glare
Somehow I know the truth, but it's been buried by the flaw
I imagine how the mind reels when my soul
withdraws
Too self conscious to awake without fear
And I'm stricken despite knowing no one cares
I have troubles dealing with the perceived
And to know is not always to believe
Suffocating underneath the glass
Everyone is staring at me
Everyone knows what I'm thinking
Excruciating... will you please bypass?
Excruciating!
Help me believe no one is staring at me
Help me believe no one cares what I'm thinking
Help me believe!
"Zero Sequence"
[Date Stamp: October 9, 2002.]
Another morning without a "Hello."
Another morning of slipping by
Another day will be all I can handle
Another day without saying "Hi."
I tried to feel you out
Before the feeling rained
But a failure was all I gained
What's your name? How do you do?
Damn, I wish I could talk to you
I wish I had the courage to
Another morning walking by you
Another morning of wishing I
Had a little courage to show to you
But I'm just weak and afraid to apply
I tried to feel you out
Before the feeling rained
But a failure was all I gained
I wanted something else
Beyond the casual eyes
But the failure was retained
What's your name? How do you do?
Damn, I wish I could talk to you
I wish I had the courage to
"Hi."
All I wanted to say before you pushed me away
"Hi."
It's a little byplay that means nothing, okay?
"Hi."
I'm a little afraid of what you're going to say
"Hi."
Don't ever hold me to my play
One day I'll say "Hi."
"Intellectual Whore"
[Date Stamp: September 4, 2003.]
When everything's got you down--don't want to burden him
I'll sit and listen to every word, every whim
That's all you need me for--don't want to burden
him
You'd rather burden me with your problems
You're almost gone, I've got to let you go
I can't protect your hope
Talk's cheap for some, I've got to let you go
I'm tired of my role
I'm no intellectual whore
I'm no intellectual whore
I'm your intellectual whore
What am I getting from this--this friendship with you?
Every damn word is like--like a dagger or two
Why do you need me at all when you've got him?
You'd rather burden me with your problems
You're almost gone, I've got to let
you go
I can't protect your hope
Talk's cheap for some, I've got to let you go
I'm tired of my role
I'm no intellectual whore
I'm no intellectual whore
I'm your intellectual whore
Don't you feel me?--I'm tearing
myself dry
I can't keep this inside
I know you can see, you're with the wrong fuckin' guy
Why do I keep this inside?
I'm no intellectual whore
I'm no intellectual whore
I'm your intellectual whore
"BDO"
[Date Stamp: October 25, 2000]
Leave me
I know all it takes is time
For me
To just rewind
Let me
For all it takes is time
For all it takes is time
So I can make up my mind
I need some time away from the daily grind
So I can make up my mind
Give me
A day off from your questions
Give me
A day off, just one day off
Give me
For all it takes is time
For all it takes is time
So I can make up my mind
I need some time away from your daily grind
So I can make up my mind
Can you feel the pressure?
Building inside
Building inside
Can you see my caution?
Let me decide
Let me decide
"Stumble"
[Date Stamp: September 4, 2003.]
It's hard to find someone
It's hard to find anyone
Though everyone's looking for one
I'm failing to urge myself on
I'm lost amongst everyone
I'm lost amidst everything
I'm lost and I'm not feeling strong
I'm failing to urge myself on
I fail; I don't know what to do
I'm just hoping to stumble upon you
"Breathe in for luck..."--yeah, I do
I'm just hoping to stumble upon you
It's hard enough to find a one
How am I to find "The One?"
Though everyone's seeking their one
I'm failing to urge myself on
I'm lost amongst everyone
I'm lost amidst everything
I'm tired of singing this song
I'm failing to urge myself on
I fail; I don't know what to do
I'm just hoping to stumble upon you
"Breathe in for luck..."--yeah, I do
I'm just hoping to stumble upon you
Somebody
Somebody
Somebody please
"The Deepening"
[Date Stamp: March 23, 2004.]
This is new to me
This is everything
I've been seeking for ages
And building to in stages
A well I've never tapped before
It's deeper than I ever thought it could be
I'm feeling something digging inside of me
The deepening of everything that is me
It's hard to understand why I waited
But now that it's here it all makes sense
It's the deepening of everything that is me
This is new to me
This is fascinating
And exciting every minute
I've invested all me in it
A well I've never tapped before
It's deeper than I ever thought it could be
I'm feeling something digging inside of me
The deepening of everything that is me
It's hard to understand why I waited
But now that it's here it all makes sense
It's the deepening of everything that is me
Deep, deep, deepening
Can't believe this is happening
Life is finally happening
This is new to me
This is love I feel
In every word I speak
In every glance we sneak
A well I've never tapped before
"Tempus Effluo"
[Date Stamp: June 20, 2002.]
Return to the past to discover
The secrets of the lost arts
Finding your answers with those
Who remember who they are
And sometimes it seems
That nobody remembers anything
About these ghosts that were so vital
In past days
But now the past has slipped away
Can we return again some day?
Open the door to encounter
The winters of their lost youth
Looking to see the failures
Of the seekers' divine untruth
And sometimes you find
Those winters never leave them behind
And those ghosts departed ages ago
In such haste
But now the past has slipped away
Can we return again some day?
But now our past has slipped away
Can we return again one day?
Do you remember who you were ten years ago?
Is it important to know?
Is it important to know?
The things that we love
The things that we lose
The things we forget
The things we excuse
The things that we want
The things that we find
The things that we learn
The things we rewind
The things that are gone
The things that we miss
The things that we tried
The things we dismissed
The things that were us
The things we designed
The things that we once knew
These are the things that we all must remind
"Clear"
[Date Stamp: September 25, 2002.]
I never realized what I was doing wrong
The lesson's been learned and I'll smile erelong
The reasoning was so clean and clear
This promises to be a clearer year
Everything I've done is everything I've done wrong
I never understood the reason why I hurt
I thought the red was all I'd ever be, inert
But the reasoning was so clean and clear
This promises to be a clearer year
Everything I've done is everything I've done wrong
Everything I've touched is everything I've prolonged
I feel much better now
"The Wilcox"
[Date Stamp: July 18, 2003.]
Bound hands are freed
Something's sweet
In the air I now breathe
And summer's switched
No longer feeling all detached
Connected by the feeling that
They're open
All of my eyes are open
Risk a little, live a little
The Wilcox will take care of me
World is revolving
Changes descending
So I feel I'm ascending
And summer's closing
But it isn't so depressing
When all my heart is feeling
That it's open
All of my heart is open
Risk a little, live a little
The Wilcox will take care of me
The day is here; never saw it coming
Life's finally pending, and there's no fear
It's escape
A burden thrown aside
This opening I can't deny
"The Revival"
[Date Stamp: November 8, 2000.]
You don't want to be my renaissance
I don't know what I really want
Everything is changing
Life won't ever be the same
I don't want to be your renaissance
You don't know what you really want
Everything is changing
Life won't ever be the same
Again
And so I say:
For this rebirth
I'll be ready
And I know it's time
To hold it steady
And I want your love
But we're not ready
So I breathe your life
But everybody's
Dead
"Threads of Fate"
[Date Stamp: July 18, 2003.]
That's the trouble with time travel
It's only one direction
Sweep this along
Gonna live all my life alone
Gotta be proven I'm wrong
Please prove me I'm wrong
That's the trouble with time travel
It's only one direction
That's the cancer eating faster
That's the
origin of disaster
The phone call
you must not answer
Time is always
our master
Sweep this along
Gonna live all my life alone
Gotta be proven I'm wrong
Please prove me I'm wrong
Tell me I am wrong
Not gonna live all this life alone
Gonna find strength to hold on
Time keeps pushing me on
